Mo!

The WMMNA post on Julian Bleecker's "Manifesto for Networked Objects" could not have come at a better time. Julian Bleecker writes about "blogjects," which are objects that blog. Mysteriously, I was going to have my blue kazoo guest blog for me today.

Without further delay, here's my blue kazoo's first blog post.

Doo-doo-doo! Oh, sorry, that joke only made sense in Kazish. Though I would like to thank Mo! for having me guest blog, I do need to be frank. If blogs will be remembered for nothing else, they will be remembered for allowing a frank discussion of worker/employer relations. I would hate to close this dialogue for the sake of politeness.

Last night, Mo! -- a pretentious hack (what we call a 'doo-doo-doo' in Kazish) -- decided to be "experimental" and engage an audience member in some artsy crowd work (though he was too pusillanimous to call it artsy). He asked an audience member what the most insignificant thing he had in his pocket was. The audience member (Shadow) had no response.

Well, Mo (that exclamation point is a nauseatingly ingratiating bid for indie cred) decides to pull me out of his pocket and say I'm the most insignificant thing in his pocket. A few people laughed. At my expense.

Understand that Mo has an old cable bill in his pocket, two pennies and a set list full of unfunny jokes. Yet he brings me out not because I am the most insignificant thing, but because "kazoo" is a funny word (in Kazish and in English [it's the same word in both]).

So Mo gave me away to Shadow for nothing in return. At the end of the set, Mo asked for his kazoo back.



Well, I'm sorry if I offended you --

Offended me? Saying something is the most insignificant thing in someone's pocket goes beyond offense. What other instruments can you play, Mo?


Um, none other.

What other instrument allows you to hum a tune and have the tune come out with the same exact notes, sounding better than with humming alone? It's easier to get your favorite song through a kazoo than through file sharing. Forget Kazaa, try a kazoo!

Well that's a good rhetorical trick, but it-

Know who had kazoos in their songs? Frank Zappa and The Beatles! True revolutionaries play kazoos!

Look, I'll never give you away again.

You admit my name was the funniest part of your set last night?

I'm nothing without you. Anything else you want to say?

I'm a kazoo you idiot! I play whatever songs you hum into me and type whatever words you think into me. Read the Networked Blue Blogject Kazoo Owner's Manual once in a while, you hapless numbskull!